Let me know if this sounds familiar. A project lands on your desk and it’s hard, time consuming and generally no fun. So, you wait to even get started…until, the week, day, hour before it’s due. Not getting started on this project keeps you up at night, provoking a litany of “I’m doing this first thing in the morning” type revelations at 2:30am. Yet, the next morning, you are easily distracted by anything else. Welcome back anxiety at 2:30am the next morning!
The rational part of me knows that this repetitive, self-defeating procrastination is a by-product of anxiety. The rest of me just keeps letting it happen – at work and at home. Strangely, if you were to ask any of my bosses, past or present, what makes me a valuable asset to the company, they would respond with “her proactive nature”. I’ve got everyone in the workplace fooled, except the only one that matters (me!). My family and closest friends know the truth and it’s a constant source of friction.
During my stint in outpatient intensive rehab, I learned that this behavior is really common in addicts. Alcohol to numb the anxiety that you’ve created by procrastination. What a nasty cycle! Nowadays, I don’t have the alcohol to self soothe, but I simply can’t break this terrible habit.
Anyone else in the same boat?