In the comments to my post yesterday, a particular sentence stood out. It was: “Hope that you find your posse”. The author must be psychic (or incredibly insightful)!
One of the big reasons I used to drink was to overcome my social anxiety. I’m not at all comfortable around groups of people, even if I know some of them. In more personal situations, I was a pretty terrible friend. Alcohol took priority over many things and friendships were one of them. The most problematic issue that lingers now is that I’m never sure that people will like me once they get to know me. I’m damaged goods, I’m quirky and, of course, I can’t drink. I live in an area of the U.S. that is overrun by craft breweries, mom and pop distilleries and small, boutique wineries. Seriously, throw a rock from my porch and you’ll hit one. Each and every one of my remaining friends seems to be a connoisseur of some kind of alcohol. This “hobby” completely permeates the environment.
Yes, I met some very nice folks in my outpatient rehab program, but none of us connected on a long-term friendship level.
Yes, I tried AA. Repeatedly. Co-ed groups. Female only groups. Groups at homes. Groups at churches. Groups at restaurants. I participated and the people I met were nice enough, but I never fit in (or let myself fit in). I did find one group with promise, but quickly discovered that an estranged family member had joined two weeks prior. I was never going to be able to share my story freely and without judgment. It was crushing at the time.
Where does a married, forty-something work from home mom of tweens/teens make friends that will appreciate my sobriety and strangeness?
If you know, I’m all ears!