I like to think that I am a good parent. Not AMAZING but definitely doing my best with the tools I’ve been given. Especially since I quit drinking. Today, I failed in a huge way. I am embarrassed by some of the words that came out of my mouth. It was not anything to be proud of.
I suspect all parents have had days like this. Close your eyes and imagine that time your teenager pushed your last button (like perhaps in a public place, as it happened to me this morning) with a mix of selfishness and ingratitude and once you were both in the privacy of your car, you lost it. And, of course, immediately regretted how you behaved.
As a person in recovery, I’m trying hard to take responsibility for all of my actions and the reactions they cause. I did in this situation and I hope my teen and I both learned an important lesson: No matter how mad you get, it’s never worth saying things you will regret. It hurts everyone involved and chips away at respect and understanding. I can’t shake the sadness from this morning and I doubt she can either.
Today, I give myself an “F”. Tomorrow, I had better aim for an “A”. My kids’ deserve it.