I’m sitting at my kitchen table this morning in a total funk. Something is just not right in my world. My oldest is away at camp and I miss her terribly. It’s only been two nights and she’ll return after two more. I should be relieved… the other kids are getting along better, I’m less of a taxi driver and I have one less person to cook/clean/etc for. I’m not relieved. Not at all.
My oldest is a smart, strong, brave teen girl. She’s so much more than I was at her age. However, she has my sarcastic mouth, my intrinsic lack of motivation and a complete disdain for keeping anything organized or neat (that’s a genetic gift from me as well). We butt heads on a regular (daily? hourly?) basis, but I can’t imagine being away from her for a long period of time. About this time, in exactly four years, I’ll be preparing her to go off to college. Writing that sentence brought tears to my eyes. How will I ACTUALLY handle this completely normal stage of development? Judging from what’s going on inside me right now, it’s not going to be good.
I’d better make the most of these next four years.