I’ve been obsessing all week about a cocktail party we are attending this coming Saturday. Not to be overly dramatic, but it is the culmination of so many worries and fears that I’m not sleeping at night!
The host and hostess were very close friends of ours. We partied together, celebrated holidays together, attended school events together and, just a couple of times, vacationed together. We had drifted apart before I got sober (stories for another time), and it’s been increasingly awkward. Subsequently, when I did get sober and told the wife, her response was to tell me about how she didn’t drink for the summer (!) and then pretty much blew me off. I’ve been avoiding her events and invites like the plague, but my husband encouraged me to attend with him to “smooth things over” with the wife. I hope his instincts are correct.
From the RSVP list, I estimate that there may be 50 or so people in attendance, some I know and most I don’t. Can you hear my social anxiety spinning out of control? The only couple in attendance that I am (was) really comfortable with is the couple I recently blogged about their “ghosting” of us. Sigh.
Events hosted by these folks are always full of alcohol and, if memory serves correct, I will be the only one not partaking. A recovering alcoholic’s dream!
I am not kidding when I say that the combination of social anxiety, awkward & disappointing personal relationships, and the plethora of available alcohol will make this an excruciating evening.
However, no change and growth comes without pain. I’m going to make the best out of Saturday night and I’ll be better for it.
I will, won’t I?