Everything is different now. No more taking the kids out trick or treating while the parents drink from liquor stashed in a wagon. This was our standard since my first born started walking. Some were fun times and some I don't remember much about at all. Tonight, kids two and three will be out with... Continue Reading →
Kids These Days
This morning, my daughter's high school received some sort of email threatening violence. As is protocol in our district, the police department came out in force. The children were asked to stay in their classrooms ("shelter in place"). Within an hour or so, the investigation was over and the students were able to go about... Continue Reading →
Day 414 – Shouldn’t I Be Fixed By Now?
Day 414 of sobriety and I can barely muster a blog post. I think back to my first days of sobriety, in my Intensive Outpatient Program, and distinctly remember my new found mantra: "A year from today, I will be a whole new person". I had so many ideas and goals, but very few have... Continue Reading →
The Challenges of Three
If anyone had told a young adult me, a proud only child, that I would THREE children, I would have laughed in their face. Who would do that on purpose, I would think. Well...here we are. I'm a middle-aged mom of three: Girl "S"-10, Boy "A"-12, and Girl "M"-14. I'm going to just cut to... Continue Reading →
I Need A Nanny, But Not For The Kids
I feel like the time has come to admit that I am in need of a handler. A manager. An adult nanny. I'm not sure what to call it, but I need it. I'm still sober (Day 373!) but I feel my mood shifting and the thoughts of alcohol creeping in. I'll blame the combo... Continue Reading →
Summer Camp Is Just A Test Drive
I'm sitting at my kitchen table this morning in a total funk. Something is just not right in my world. My oldest is away at camp and I miss her terribly. It's only been two nights and she'll return after two more. I should be relieved... the other kids are getting along better, I'm less... Continue Reading →
Was It Me?
With my oldest getting ready to start high school, I've been thinking a lot about when she was just starting out in Kindergarten. It wasn't easy, but we made sure she (and the other two that would follow). The first few days were a blur, a combination of the newness and excitement, and the fact... Continue Reading →
Mommy Issues
From the moment I found out I was pregnant with my first baby, I had some pretty clear "Mommy Goals". : Raise empowered, independent, resilient, happy, and empathetic children. Love them unconditionally. Always have an open line of communication. Don't turn into my own mother. Number four sounds awful doesn't it? It feels so unnatural... Continue Reading →
Today, I Give Myself An “F”
I like to think that I am a good parent. Not AMAZING but definitely doing my best with the tools I've been given. Especially since I quit drinking. Today, I failed in a huge way. I am embarrassed by some of the words that came out of my mouth. It was not anything to be... Continue Reading →
